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I've been verbally Ex-laxed

Lately I’ve been experiencing LJ constipation. Symptoms? Being completely devoid of anything to say about anything and feeling overwhelmed at the thought of thinking about anything else besides thinking about nothing and lurking like some guilty kleptomaniac hanging about the kid’s Christmas donation bin at Target. I blame work, work, work and the stress of shopping at Crate and Barrel at 2 pm on a Saturday (foolish, I know, but I had a gift certificate and an overwhelming urge for buttermilk waffles, which required a waffle maker that’s doesn’t predate Noah and the Arc with a peeling and probably carcinogenic non-stick layer). 
Anyway, it seems now my funk has magically lifted (maybe it was the waffles) and I can’t stop blabbing. How many comments did I leave yesterday? A lot. Diarrhea of the fingers had me all over the place, clicking on the friend button and frolicking through old communities, new-found communities, and communities I knew about vaguely, but was too much of a bonehead to join before. 
One of which is encycl_of_weird.  How how how did I forget to join this way back when kentawolf first mentioned she was putting it together? *lashes self with a wet noodle* If you haven’t already checked it out, you should. This entry was particularly amusing; the expression on Dean’s face is priceless XD! 
I don’t think I’ve giggled so much since … last week, which brings me to the next item on my blabby backlog list of inconsequential things to ramble about. :)
sadelyrate mentioned an occurrence where thoughts tangentially related to The Show popped into her head through, shall we say, “free association” *wink*, which reminded me of last week during church (shhh, it’s free association time so randomness is allowed). 
Let the following example be the yardstick (or meter stick if you prefer metric … and really the world should prefer metric because it makes more sense because really who knows how many inches are in a mile whereas everyone knows there are 100,000 cm in a km, which is yet another reason to push metrification in the US and also because of the big conversion booboo that resulted in the crispy-fried Mars orbiter; dude, how many people got fired over that?) to measure one’s descent into utter fangeekdom. Because if you got your husband or significant other to make blasphemous SPN wisecracks during church, you know you’re going to Hell in trouble.
Let me set the scene.
Soft lights. Poinsettias adorned with gold glitter. Heads bent in prayer or silent reflection. A bunch of kids with halos and shepherd’s staffs herded into a fidgety, tight cluster near the piano. Someone coughs then blows their nose. The seeing eye dog for the man in the wheelchair is licking itself (himself/herself? I didn’t really look because, you know, privacy).
I’m sitting there, wondering if the guy in the second row of the choir and five from the end is really Sideshow Bob because his hair is incredibly standy-uppish in that Sideshow Bob sort of way when my vision is obstructed by something big and white and with a finger in the middle of it. 
My husband has slid the white hymnal under my nose and is pointing to the lyrics “Joy to the World”. Instead of "Joy to the world the Lord has come" it’s written "Joy to the world the Word has come." 
I grin and whisper that it’s because we’re in a "Pagan" church and the word of God makes everyone flinch *snort*.  He leans down and says with a perfectly straight face if we're worshipping Pagan gods then maybe a couple of boys are hiding behind the pair of X-mas trees on either side of the alter, wielding pointy tree branches with bobbles on the ends. Then he wags his eyebrows and makes these tiny stabbing motions with his hymnal.
And I pretty much loose it in the middle of X-mas eve service while he stands there looking innocent. When people start staring he pretends to be appalled at the inappropriate laugh-choking noises coming from me.
When we reach the changed verse later in the service, he bends over and sings “LORD” instead of “WORD”. And not expecting hot, candy-cane scented breath in my ear, I flinch. LOL.
This is why I will likely end up playing poker with Meg!demon, the YED, and hopefully not Dean (ack, to take out the strikethrough or not? I’m conflicted!) in the toasty depths down under.  I'll be sure to bring marshmellows so I can play pudgy bunny with Dean an incredibly hot fictional character.  ;)

I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe holiday. Onto to good things 2008 holds! *hugs flist*



( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 31st, 2007 12:06 am (UTC)
Oh, man. The metric mix-up. I can't help but to wonder how many people could have and should have checked the software and its compatibility with the hardware. Two different measuring unit systems = bad.

Heads bent in prayer or silent reflection.

Yeah, I'll probably end up in Special Hell, too, as I was quietly chuckling already after I read this part. Or maybe I'll blame sadelyrate because, after all, she's the one who told about her inappropriate thoughts while she was in church. I'm just very easily influenced. *nods* ;)

Then he wags his eyebrows and makes these tiny stabbing motions with his hymnal.

ROFL! Well, at least you had fun. That's gotta count for something, right? :D
Jan. 4th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
Something wonky happened with my previous reply, so I deleted it and am trying again. Sorry for spamming your inbox.

Two different measuring unit systems = bad.

*nods* However, the confusing it creates can be useful. For example, my husband I were driving around the states (when we still lived in Vancouver) and got pulled over for speeding. Our old car only had speed listed in km/hr and not miles/hr. Heh. He pretended to be ignorant and used that as an excuse for going 10 km over the speed limit XD!

Or maybe I'll blame sadelyrate...

LOL. Yes, let's blame her for her Jedi mind tricks our easily influenced brains, the evil enabler she is! XD! *hugs sadelyrate* I have this theory that enabling begets enabling. So perhaps we can combine my feeble brain powerz and your enabler tendancies and send a couple enabler snowballs her way. ;P

ROFL! Well, at least you had fun.

Yes, I can always count on my husband to make things fun and interesting, even silent time during church.
Dec. 31st, 2007 12:27 am (UTC)
Dude! Isn't it funny how we say H E double hockey sticks when there is no hockey in Hell? Well, at least ice hockey and let's face it, all other hockey sucks to this Canadian. Maybe you could go to Canada instead eh?

Pagan church ... Oh, now where was that when a certain person accused us of being pagans when we mentioned RA?! Seriously. heee, remember that? How lame was that? Heee, maybe he prayed for our souls this Christmas.

Now, messing with the words with Joy To The World on the other hand, that is pagan. It's like changing the lyrics to Stairway To Heaven ... at least to Grant because Led Zepplin is his favourite.

I have no idea at all what the H E double hockey sticks I'm even writing here as I'm kind of tired ... but it's random and seems to fit here. A nice non pagan distraction. Hee! *raises fist* Take that as*hat from long ago.

Oh, excuse me, it's time for me to go worship the sun, or the moon, whatever is out right now in this daylight savings hell. Did I mention I hate daylight savings time? I do. It's dark at five pm. It's not right.

Talk soon my fellow pagan friend!
Jan. 4th, 2008 06:47 pm (UTC)
You comments never cease to amuse me! :)

I'd almost forgotten about Ra. LOL. Oh, what fun that all was! One of the fun things about PR was the randomness that quickly turned into silliness. But most of us still managed to turn out some coherent storylines with some surprisingly decent writing (speaking for myself, of course).

It's like changing the lyrics to Stairway To Heaven ... at least to Grant because Led Zepplin is his favourite.

I'm still laughing over his Zepplin lounging/camping pants. Awesome!

Hope things are less stressful than before. I sent you and Grant a card in the mail. Hope you get it. *hugs*
Dec. 31st, 2007 12:32 am (UTC)
OHH!! PS if you go to jail, you can visit Grant! But that may be classed as Hell to some people so ...


Your friend in the cell.

omb, remember that??? I'm remembering so many old things we used to joke about before today from reading this post of yours.
Jan. 4th, 2008 06:49 pm (UTC)

Oops, have to go ... my mom's coming downstairs and it's after 8 pm bedtime. ;)

Dec. 31st, 2007 01:47 am (UTC)
ramble on...
Is this what "they" call stream of consciousness writing? 'Cos I like the level of consciousness you operate on... especially travelling from Metric issues (I often think about that monumental screw-up, shee!!) to dog hygiene issues. Does castration alter time spent in...umm...said hygiene action or merely gender questions, or, ok, ENOUGH!

I'm thinking, if there were two boys hiding out in aforementioned location, that would be an answer to prayer, thus confirming existence of said Lord, Word too, even in a "pagan" location. Well, my prayer (desperate pleading) anyways.

Have a great 2008! I love reading your ramblings about this wee show!
Jan. 4th, 2008 06:58 pm (UTC)
Re: ramble on...
Does castration alter time spent in...umm...said hygiene action or merely gender questions, or, ok, ENOUGH!

LOL! Oh, the convoluted and "interesting" topics that LJ takes us to. I imagine that if castrated dogs could voice an opinion about their situation, we'd have many, many doggy gender issues that it could probably be a new major at univeristy. *is amazed at own randomness*

Well, my prayer (desperate pleading) anyways.

I imagine that's about a million other fandom enthusiasts wish, too (including mine). Maybe we can wish it into being like a tulpa by creading a website and concentrating hard. Oh, wait, that would LJ and the hundreds of fans glee and squeeing. ;)

I love reading your ramblings about this wee show!

Thank you! Lets hope that we get more show to ramble about sometime this year. *crosses fingers* Happy 2008 to you!
Dec. 31st, 2007 02:04 am (UTC)

She's BAaaaack. *hugs*

That is such a cute story with your SO. What fun to be able to share that with each other.
Jan. 4th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
*hugs back*

Yes, the hubby knows how to provide endless hours of amusement. :)

Now if the networks would only cooperate, I'd have my other source of endless hours of amusement back. *grumbles*
Dec. 31st, 2007 10:43 am (UTC)

You know, that's exactly the reason I'm not going to drag dear husband into any church, at least for a service. Because we had trouble keeping straight face when we had our civil marriage ritual-thingy. Granted, it was so random and impromptu on other accounts, too, that it really shouldn't have been a surprise. :)

We're so easy to amuse, aren't we?
Oh, Show, what you do to us...
*smishes everyone & -thing in reach*

And welcome back!

I favour the metric system only when exact numbers are needed. Otherwise I go gladly with hands and cubits, because with those I have at least some sort of an idea how big something is.
I fail with abstract measures. Utterly and completely. *headdesk*

Jan. 4th, 2008 07:25 pm (UTC)
Aww, glee and general smiley-ness at weddings! Well, if you think about it, it's the perfect time to be giddy. We ended up laughing at our wedding after I spent a good long while trying to jam my husband's ring on the wrong hand. Apparently I wasn't thinking about left and right at the time, silly of me to forget such "important" matters. ;)

We're so easy to amuse, aren't we? Oh, Show, what you do to us...

Yes, this is the #1 reason why this fandom is so much fun. All you have to do is post some icons of a hand or two and it sparks much squee and endless discussion. *grins* But on the other hand, the depth of knowlege members of this fandom have never ceases to amaze me. The meta is high quality, and with discussions/panels like
this it's hard to beat. *smishes everything/one with you*

I hope we get a new episode to keep us amused soon. You don't happen to know if there's been any word on 3x09 yet?

Otherwise I go gladly with hands and cubits

Cubits! Using body parts as a means to measure length would be much more convenient. The problem arises with Samsquatch those gigantic people who have huge hands and abnormally long arms. They're always causing trouble, aren't they? ;)

And welcome back!

Thanks! I'm putting meta on hold in lieu of the sammessiah challenge. Fic FTW! :P
Jan. 5th, 2008 12:00 am (UTC)
I hope we get a new episode to keep us amused soon. You don't happen to know if there's been any word on 3x09 yet?

Alas, the only thing I'm even distantly aware of is that it's possibly airing on the 31st...

Gigantors should have their own measurements. :p
Dec. 31st, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC)
The Scientific Methodology of Verbal Constipation Laxatives"
ROTFL. You are like a tap. Once opened, water simply flows non-stop. Much more! Just look at your play on words. I was tempted to sing an out of tune " see shore from the sea shore" and that was just reading your first paragraph. LOL.

I was killing myself laughing. You totally crack me up. I admit to being unhinged reading your non verbal verbose constipated entry. LOL!

Just as well I am not an SPN fan or I will totally be deranged!

Bless your multi-faceted brain. Happy 2008!
Jan. 4th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
Re: The Scientific Methodology of Verbal Constipation Laxatives"
Glad you smiled!

Just as well I am not an SPN fan or I will totally be deranged!

Since when do you have to be a SPN fan to be deranged? I've been like this for quite a while. ;)

Happy 2008 to you, too.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


Billie Bowtrunckle

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